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How can couples reverse the buildup of resentment once they notice it?

13.06.2025 05:37

How can couples reverse the buildup of resentment once they notice it?

By taking turns talking.

By giving up the notion that someone has to “win” or that anyone loses by saying “you are right”, “I am sorry”, or “I can do better.”

By keeping in mind it’s OK to have different opinions and different experiences, and they both matter in equal measure.

How would you feel if your friend confided in you that she is cheating on her husband, knowing that he loves her deeply? What emotional and ethical considerations would you grapple with in response to her revelation?

By internalizing that responding with kindness is strength, not weakness.

By resolving to listen with curiosity rather than defensiveness.

By wanting to truly understand each other, despite feeling unheard.

What thing happened to you as a child that you haven’t let go of to this day?

By learning to validate what the other is feeling. “I can absolutely see why you feel this way.”

By deciding to stop with the criticism and the nagging and instead say thank you for everything you do for me. Thank you for loving me.